i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
