just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
