hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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