i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
