I CAN MOONWALK!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
