Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
