thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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