I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
