So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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