I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
