I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
