I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
