Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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