She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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