You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
