hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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