Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
they need to just BURY HIM!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
