you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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