1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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