Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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