I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
