U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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