You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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