I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
