I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
