K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
