I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
