She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
