this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
