I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
