quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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