Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I feel like abortions should bother me more
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
