halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
