lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Randomize
