I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
