Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
