I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
