Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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