I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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