Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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