She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
