We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I said "one day" and that day is not today
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
