i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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