We're like a lot better than the average bears
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
