I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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