I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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