and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
