just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
