He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
