Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
