He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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